We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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