The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
