So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
