I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she smelled like a LAN party
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
