Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
