Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
