Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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