Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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