so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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