I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
