After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
