i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
