once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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