no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
