The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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