She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
