Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think my moral compass just broke
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
