I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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