I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
