You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
