Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm gonna fight the coyote