Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he thought i was a dude.
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she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.