I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.