i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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