I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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