just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
