I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
