The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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