thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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