He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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