Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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