God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
