My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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