I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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