dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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