...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize