you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
