I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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