I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
