I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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