He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
