Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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