you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
