just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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