I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
