He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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