i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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