he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
