I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
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PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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