We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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