If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize