And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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