Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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