Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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