Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
