you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
