Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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