He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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